Why can't he just back off!? Why does everything have to be so black or white! I mean, I asked for time! And what makes him think time was 17 hours?

It started so perfect, so wonderful. He planned out this wonderful picnic, he played our songs on a mixed cd, he asked me to dance. He kissed me as though he would never grow tired of it. And then he asked me THE question in the most romantic, sweet way possible. And I wanted to shout yes! I did! But he was right at Noir, we're not ready. And why say yes if we might not make it past next week because of the fighting? If we are going to do this... and by the way why is it he doesn't hear that part of YES I WANT TO DO THIS, I want to do it once, and without any shadows on it. I need more time to settle everything.

But instead of hearing me, of listening to me~ He immedately thinks that all the wedding stuff I've been doing is for us. And when I point out how dumb that is... that I just told him I need more time, what makes him think that I would start planning NOW~ I dunno! He gets all hurt and angry which pisses me off, which pisses him off which hurts me which~ GAH! Emmie and Dylan Drama Fest for May continues!

And now~ Now when I want to run to him and say yes, when I want to forget all the crap that has happened, when I want to start planning ours instead of helping Wyllow with hers~ I can't! Doesn't he understand that now~ Doesn't he get it!? I can't. Because he'll just think I am doing it so I won't lose him.

 

And Wyllow thinks she has family drama due to this? Can you imagine me telling Crystal? Can you imagine his family~ WHO I STILL HAVEN"T MET? Can you see how that would happen~?

 

I just can't win. I want to marry him but am scared to marry him, but I don't want to lose him by not marrying him.

 

HELP~

You won't loose me by not Em. That's abserd. We apparantly have a bit of talking to do.

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