- Mood: confused and hurt and hopeful and freaked out
- UpComingDrama: the day of no more me
I never use this thing, think I might have blogged a whole twice and never really about myself. And yet, in two days I sit here in the office pouring myself into words that I am sure will never be said aloud.
He's down. All day I worried to the point I nearly was begging Lissa to break her own professional code and call Cresta. I need to know what is going on. I finally told them, all the ones I needed to tell but one that, I was done. And he tried to stop me. If he was a differenet man I would swear that he collapsed on purpose. But even with the kissing, and the pleading, and the commanding (which no matter how I am tease him, he has NEVER ordered me to do anything but stand down) to get me to stay I know he would never do that to me.
Does it make a difference? God, yes! I doubt that anything could shock me more or make me pause olonger. This is no game, I really am leaving. But part of me is now regretting the choice I have made. A part wishes that I could find a way to stay without looking weak.
One man down.
Another to go.
And I haven't even been dragged into the Office to face Lissa yet.
God. Is he okay?
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