Three hour scream fest. And it comes down to one broken hand, two confused people, and a cuddling festival to end all.

Are we together? I don't know.

Do I still love Sam? Yes but I wasn't lying when I said what I said.

Sam is my partner, he is my counter point, the Yin to my Yang. We work so well together that to not work together will be off. I don't know about being vice mayor, I like being a cop. When certain people let me be a cop. So maybe I'll just get a promotion.

And thank Fizzle for sam being okay! Thank god that the boss made it through surgery.

And then there's Drake. He's absolute chaos. He is everything that can go wrong. And usually does.

But I love him. And I can't let him go.

Stupid girl parts!

I never use this thing, think I might have blogged a whole twice and never really about myself. And yet, in two days I sit here in the office pouring myself into words that I am sure will never be said aloud.

He's down. All day I worried to the point I nearly was begging Lissa to break her own professional code and call Cresta. I need to know what is going on. I finally told them, all the ones I needed to tell but one that, I was done. And he tried to stop me. If he was a differenet man I would swear that he collapsed on purpose. But even with the kissing, and the pleading, and the commanding (which no matter how I am tease him, he has NEVER ordered me to do anything but stand down) to get me to stay I know he would never do that to me.

Does it make a difference? God, yes! I doubt that anything could shock me more or make me pause olonger. This is no game, I really am leaving. But part of me is now regretting the choice I have made. A part wishes that I could find a way to stay without looking weak.

One man down.

Another to go.

And I haven't even been dragged into the Office to face Lissa yet.

God. Is he okay?

Yes I know that it wasn't real. That Drake very well could have been 'goofing' (pointed glare at Lissa) the whole time but bu also know that these conversations are more than a little true.

Do I love Sam? Yes.
Have I ever thought that Colton was just for fun, that he'd never be serious? Yes.
Did I maybe deep deep deep DEEP down continue to hold on to the hope that Sam would one day be more like Drake and actually bend a little so that we might have a future?


Yes.

That's nothing to do with Drake not being good enough, because he is-because on almost all levels he's exactly what I would want. He's the complete opposite and the absolute twin to Sam at the same time and no I can't evolsin that.it's just what I see.

But... He fought for me. Yes it was asinine and juvenille and cruel and I should be pissed. I am pissed! But...

Once again Sam had a chance and he walked. I get the reasoning and I understand why and know it wasn't some test! How could it have been when neither let on on how bad it had gotten? But he had a chance to do something and instead he respected me to the point that he's only option was to leave! He respected his way right out of my life.

But Drake... He fought. Dirty and deceitful and in the most jerk faced way-god what an ass! But he fought because he was worried and he saw Sam as a rival and he didn't want ton lose me.

Do you see?

I am pissed and it's going to take a lot for me to really calm down because Sam is my friend and I do love him..

but...

Drake fought.

And Sam walked.

Who's really the better man?

Goofing? That's what they called it! They stole 4 months.... 4 MONTHS form me and Dee, made me pregnant and made us not living together and made us not engaged and made us not in love. Well...

Still in love. BUT NOT TOGETHER!

Ryan. Our baby boy was to be named Ryan. And now, the two evil twats decide... THEY DECIDE that we aren't mature enough to have a baby for real.

I felt it. I felt him move inside of me. I heard it! Dylan 'felt' him! This is torture! Why would they ever do such a thing!?

 

I want my baby back!

Okay I am stealing the net so I gotta post everyone at once- hope you can follow~

 

(*Emmie and Eric enter the Office glaring at those behind them*)

 Em: OKay just so that everyone is caught up- We. Are. Not. Fighting. Right Eric?

Er: Right, Emmaleigh. It is laughable that there is not a single thing going on out there that is more pressing than weather or not me and my sister are having "an' out in out fight". I mean, we are on lockdown people. I haven't been able to see my wife or child in weeks. Emmie hasn't seen her fiance in as long. People are stuck with the same people over and over again and all you can do is sit around and theroize what might be wrong with us? I mean, really!

Em: Exactly! I mean, even if we were fighting- WHICH WE ARE NOT- don't you people have better things to do with your time than to sit around and moan about us? This has gone on much more than it ever should have. Even if we were

Er: Which we're not!

Em *small frown*) As I was saying,  which we are not than it wouldn't really be anyone else's business anyways. Would it?

Er: I should say not! And just as I was saying to Emmie earlier, people need to mind their own busniess because this doesn't concern them.

Em: Actually, Eric, dear, I told you that.

Er *annoyed sigh*) No, Emmie I told you.

Em *huffs*) Whatever. Anyways, what I am trying-

Er: We.

Em *glares*) What WE are saying is, please back off and stop freaking out over nothing. There is nothing going on.

Er: And we don't care if you believe us or not. Because we don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Em *frowns and pokes his shoulder*) Was that necessary? I though that we were going to leave that past out of it.

Er: But, Emmie, darling sister, I though we agreed that we should say how we felt and that we should get everything out there.

Em *more annoyed*) Oh, so now we are talking full disclosure? Honesty?

Er *getting angry*) There is nothing to disclose. Nothing to be honest about.

Em: Sure, that is what you always say! No wonder Wyllow is -

Er: Shut up! That has nothing to do with what we are - (*remembers that they aren't fighting and sighs*) Just shut it okay?

Em(*growing anagry herself*) You overinflated fairy! This is just like when you were going on and on about the- (*remembers that other people read this and sighs*) Whatever. Just... look. We aren't fighting, right?

Er: Hard to fight with someone that is a retard. Pretty unfair advantage there.

Em(*back to angry*) I totally agree. That's why I am not fighitng with you, don't want you to cry again. Fucking wuss.

Er ver eager pain in the ass!

Em rama Queen!

Er *schocked!*) Me? ME!? I'm the drama queen? That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! I'm done here. This was so stupid. Emmie, I hope you have a great life.

Em: Oh I will! The minute you get out of it!

Er:Fine!

Em:Fine!

(*both storm out*)

*****************************

Ren:: I miss Colton. And I miss Sam. I wish Jessie were here. Why am I suffering along with the rest of thses losers! (*shout is head*) Except Phil, he's a doll!

Phil/ Damn right I am. C'mon, let's go eat. I'm starved.

*****************************

Lissa~_~ No one really has much more add I guess. I just-

(*Emmie pokes in*) Yeah, Em?

I love Dylan and miss him tons and just wanted him to know that. I *care* about my loved ones.

(*er strides in angry*) I was just about to do the same.

Em: Yeah right! Selfish prig, you don't care about anyone you can't control! No wonder you and Wyllow are fighitng right now. She's got a real personality and you can't stand that!

Er: At least I know why Wyl and I are fighting, unlike you and Dylan. I mean, he loves you he can't stand you he misses you he loves you again, your're ruining his life, he is depressed because he is with you. That's a great relastionship you got there! Give lessons!?

Em: Not any you would understand!

Er: How hard is it to be a brat? I mean really, you and Rayanne are so goooooood at it!

Em *squeals*) What did you just say!

Er(*grins, knowing he has won*) Wyl, I know that I deserve everything I am going to get. I just wish that I could hold you. I miss you my love. So very much. (*walks  out*)

(*Emmie stands there shaking before storming out to sit at Mitch's for a bit*)

 

Lis~ Okay...ummm. yeah. So, back to under the bed for me!